"Adaptation" v. "Devil Wears Prada"

If this were a competition on Best Meryl Movies, this would be a no-brainer. But it isn't. It's about performance. And however silly and dumb Devil Wears Prada may have been as a film, Meryl's performance in it was no fucking joke. 
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In this five minute clip of Adaptation​ alone (below), Meryl gives us more range and depth than many of her films combined. AND IT'S MY FAVORITE KIND: Bare Meryl. Stripped down. No character shit, no accents, no fantasy or sci-fi. There's a time and place for all those - they're not inherently wrong, nor do they necessarily imply a less talented performance (Death Becomes Her​ is in the Great Eight, I obviously fucking love the surreal).

​But let's put it this way: when a director auditions an actor for a role, the actor doesn't have the luxury of the costumes, make up, music, set, or special affects. It's just them, alone on a bare stage, or sitting in front of a camera before a bare wall - because to truly weigh the required talent of an actor for a particular role, that is all you need: just them and their chutzpah. 

To be fair, Meryl could've pulled Miranda Priestly out of her ass without the Witch Mommy haircut or the Big Dick Energy Desk or even the presence of Eternally Befuddled Anne What's Her Face. Her performance is deafening, and she never raises her voice. That is a skill that takes years of honing.  

I referenced the "Cerulean Blue Monologue" in the original post, but here it is in it's entirety. It really starts going around 0:30.

DAMNNNNNNN that last little up-and-down look she gives Bland Hathaway literally gives me CHILLS. 

I could go on a very long rant about how FASHION FUCKING MATTERS and it is not about the trivial, self-indulgent, toxic companies that have poisoned its name and significance in philosophy and culture, but you can just read this succinct and riveting article about Princess Diana's role in game-changing fashion instead.

​We've got Ruthless Reasons to get through:

ADAPTATION

1) CHARACTER: Truly one of the more complex characters Meryl's ever had to play, and I understand completely why she was cast. Who the fuck else could've pulled that off? A middle-aged author dutifully looking for her next muse, accidentally stumbling into a world of indigenous mystery, bloodthirsty crime, toothless drug addicts and cosmic poetry; it is all seemingly beneath her, but turns out to expose exactly who the fuck she is. Go ahead and name another actor who could do that. I'll wait. 5/5 

2) DEPTH: I'm waiting to use the clip for a later bracket when I'll really need the big guns, but there is a fucking monologue Meryl gives late in this movie - for those of you familiar, the "I want to be a baby again" speech - and a wail that is... yep, I'm gonna fucking say it: BETTER THAN SOPHIE'S CHOICE. 10/10 

3) RANGE: Extraordinary disappointment. Deep self-loathing. Existential crises. Falling out of love. Falling in love. Getting high for the first time. Watching your life fall apart. It is phenomenal range done with fucking outrageous simplicity and subtlety. Now that I'm thinking about it, this is what I was missing in Postcards from the Edge. Maybe it took a later Meryl to really embody all that. 15/15

4) CHUTZPAH: Again, only fucking Meryl could pull off a performance where her central fight is INSIDE HER OWN BRAIN and not make it pedantic or nauseating or boring. This is a woman self-destructing in the name of FEELING ALIVE and although it is wildly selfish, you totally fucking get it. 20/20

​TOTAL POINTS: DAMN STRAIGHT IT'S A FUCKING FLAWLESS PERFORMANCE. 50 POINTS.
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DEVIL WEARS PRADA

1) CHARACTER: STONE. COLD. BITCH. She's like the female equivalent of Dr. House: she's always fucking right, and even when she's an asshole, you're kind of rooting for her? To see a WOMAN play that kind of role and pull it off is A RARE GODDAMN TREAT. 5/5

2) DEPTH: I mean... I will gush about her range below, but yeah, there's not a lot of depth here. There are glimpses, but it's not the same. And that's not fault of Meryl's, it's the fault of the writer for choosing to make this movie about Bland Hathaway instead of Meryl Goddess Streep. 5/10

3) RANGE: Subtle villainy is arguably the  best kind. Meryl is manipulative, cold, vindictive, ruthless (!), but best of all, she has moments these little moments of SURPRISE: when Bland Hathaway gets that Harry Potter manuscript, when Bland Hathaway interrupts her marital dispute, when Bland Hathaway jumps out of the basically moving vehicle. These little moments where we see something different from Meryl's otherwise air tight villainy is what range is all about. ...But even still, that's really just giving us range from Cold Bitch to Vulnerable Bitch, with a smattering of Pleasantly Surprised Bitch. That's only three Bitches.  10/15

4) CHUTZPAH: This is a harder category to judge because Miranda Priestly isn't really fighting for anything - again, this is the fault of the writer for making it Bland's story, not Meryl's. Frankly, she's a poorly written character that Meryl managed to infuse with the goddamn Breath and Life of GOD HERSELF to make into such an iconic role. But what is she fighting for? She's not fighting to make Bland a better employee. She's not fighting to be understood. Like plot-wise, she is technically fighting to keep her job, but that's not really part of her ~character~. She's kind of like the anti-joker. Like she literally just does not care what anyone else does as long as it doesn't get in her way. She just wants to watch the world burn... on the runway, in heels. 2/5

​TOTAL POINTS: 22
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Oh yeah also I am apparently an uncultured RUBE because I didn't even realize that Susan Orlean, Meryl's character in "Adaptation," is a REAL FUCKING WRITER FOR THE NEW YORKER #charliekaufmandoesitagain

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Sorry Miranda, but that's all. The next film in our Great Eight is:

ADAPTATION
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me, trying to finish this #MADNESS